I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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