Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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