the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
