i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
