this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
