i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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