I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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