these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
