I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
