kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
