And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
