So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
