she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
