piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
