Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
