O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
