No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
