hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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