oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
