She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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