If that was your dad, he is hot
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
