The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
