I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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