i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
