Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
