I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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