Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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