So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
