atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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