He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
