alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
