A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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