You can't motorboat a personality
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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