I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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