No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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