I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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