So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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