Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
