Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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