Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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