I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize