How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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