People with herpes should wear stickers.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
