Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
