it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
