He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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