i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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