how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize