Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
sex in a hospital.. check
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
