Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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