Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
