I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
