wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
