I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
