White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize