the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
