So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
