she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
