Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
