is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
